What is so bad about being a control freak?

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Many people call me a control freak. I can’t disagree. The duties of being a domestic engineer have fine-tuned my organizational and coordination skills – now I am responsible for almost everything needed to run the house. Unfortunately, when one person takes care of most of the domestic tasks, no one knows where things are, what is done, when it is done and what needs to be done. It all becomes an illusion – every thing is miraculously done, very little is needed or wanted, everyone is taken care of, except when you disappear.

Recently, I had the honor of escorting my mother to a memorial service for her twin sister. This meant that I would fly my mother from Florida to California back to Florida and then fly home to New York. Mike, who works full-time would be responsible for the home, Mathew, and Dylan for a little more than a week. Of course, he is capable of dealing with this situation but I needed to let him in on all the details that went into dealing with all the needs of Mathew and Dylan.

First of all, I usually drive Mathew to school, while he takes the bus home. He could take the bus to school but that would mean an hour less of sleep for him. Since Mike works an hour north and Mathew goes to school a half hour south of the house, it makes the most sense for Mathew to take the bus. Seeing that it would be challenging for Mike to be home in time to meet the bus, I needed to find somewhere for Mathew to be until Mike comes home from work. Mathew gets off the bus around 3:45pm and Mike tends to get home after 6pm. Luckily, we have an awesome neighbor a mile away, that helped us out.

After I took care of all the possible options that Mike may encounter to take care of Mathew’s, school and busing needs, I needed to alert all the necessary parties, fill-out and submit the paperwork (allowing Mathew to be dropped off at another person’s house). I needed to let them know that Mike is in charge and will be possibly make busing changes since he might simply work from home some days. Basically, I needed to figure out every contingency plan and let everyone know.

Then, the hardest part, was to make schedules that would let Mike know what he needed to do, who to notify and when to do it. If Mathew is driven to school, takes the bus home, takes the bus to school, or if he is dropped off at our friend’s house, all contact information needed to be included. Moreover, what Mathew needed for school, because it’s not the same every day – that would be too easy. And yes, we can’t forget about Dylan’s needs too. I had to try to think of everything I do, every day so things would flow for Mathew, Mike, and Dylan. Remember, Mike works full-time and leaves the house before anyone is awake, so he simply cannot know what goes on after he leaves. He was doing me a big favor, becoming “Super Dad” while I was away. I wanted him to have all the information needed to help him. In addition, I needed to stock the house with food and other necessities. Of course, Mike can shop, but I wanted to alleviate as many extra burdens from his already hefty load.

Oh yes, I forgot to mention, all this had to be done within two days, before school was closed for the holidays and we were leaving for Florida. My organizational skills were really put to the test. Besides setting up everything for Mike and Mathew’s return to regular life, I need to prepare for a long trip. Mike and Mathew were going away for 10 days, and me for 18 days. The funny part is that, everyone had what they needed except me. I forgot to pack items, and, unfortunately, included items that the TSA guy did not approve of. See, when we normally travel, I share a bag with Mathew, which is checked. Mike uses the carry-on. However, since I was traveling to CA without them, we decided to switch bags. I completely forgot about all the “illegal” items I had in my bag until we were on the security line and our plane was scheduled to take off in less than 10 minutes. It really was too late to check the bag and save the delicious medicinal honey I made for my folks, or sun block, shampoo and conditioner I had just bought. I was in such a tizzy, I forgot to put the items in Mike’s bag and was worried about missing the flight. I failed to state that some of the items that were being confiscated were actually in a 3 oz. travel size bottles. I just wanted to be released and get to the flight on time – which I did with 2 minutes to spare. A sure way to get the adrenaline pumping.

Nevertheless, no great catastrophes transpired while I was gone. Mike did a stellar job, even though he was faced with Mathew’s first really bad cold and Dylan returned home from the kennel with pink eye.  So yes, I am a control freak but it does serve everyone well.

Taking charge of our healthcare

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Our Apothecary

Our Apothecary

A while back, my brother and his wife came up to visit for the weekend. Susan, my sister-in-law needed something from a pharmacy and asked me where to go. I mentioned the two local national chain pharmacies and she asked me which one I liked. At that moment, I realized that I had no opinion. Even though we moved to this area over two years ago, I never visited either one except for developing film. All of sudden, I realized my family had turned the corner. We have been in charge of our health care, nourishing our systems without the aid of mass-produced pharmaceuticals or allopathic medicine. Allopathy is a biologically or western-based approach to healing. For instance, if a patient has high blood pressure, an allopathic physician might give him/her a drug that lowers blood pressure. Then, perhaps, recommend lifestyle changes to facilitate lowering blood pressure, as well. Maybe.

I am not a purist. I appreciate all medical modalities and know there is a place for each one. We do have an allopathic family physician that we see for annual check-ups and blood-work. Over the years, it has felt like many physicians simply throw a pill at an illness. That style just does not fit us. When an illness or medical situation rears its head in our family, our first line of attack is to nourish our bodies, and strengthen our natural defenses. If my approach does not find positive results, of course, I would seek medical advice. However, as the years have passed, this tends to happens less and less.

For the most part, we have been able to nourish our bodies and take care of our health issues on our own. This did not happen overnight, but has evolved over the years. After much thought, I realized it started with how we view our bodies. Our bodies are quite amazing. They adapt to stressful conditions and have many lines of defense against invaders. When our systems are weakened or stressed, they need extra help, nutritious unprocessed food, exercise or rest and nourishing herbs. Through the years, we have learned what our bodies need at different times of the year. As our awareness of nutritious foods grew, we need less intervention from medicinal herbs to combat illness. Our focus, has switched from “fighting” illness to nourishing our bodies.

Although, you can find ibuprofen in our medicine cabinets, they tend to be stocked with tinctures rather than pills. Our pantry has more herbs for nourishing teas than culinary uses. Moreover, the best part is that many culinary herbs are medicinal as well as delicious!

The other day, I got a call from the school nurse who asked if I was in town. Apparently, Mathew’s arm was aching and he requested arnica for it. She didn’t have any, tried a warm compress, which didn’t work and hoped I would be able to come by to administer some arnica to Mathew. Arnica montana is wonderful for pain relief for strains, sprains, and bruises. It works by stimulating the flow of white blood cells that process congested blood and by dispersing trapped fluid from joints, muscles and bruised tissue. Mathew has been a big fan for many years. When I got off the phone with the school nurse, our conversation gave me pause as it validate that our family has indeed taken charge of our healthcare.

All information is shared for educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose or treat any condition.